Knock knock. Who's there?....Mary!....Mary who?.....Marie-who-wanna....!!
I'm a killer, I kill people for money, but
you are my friend........ I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!
Roses are red Violets are blue. God made me
perfect, but what the hell happend to you?
*NEWS FLASH* Snow White has been thrown out
of Disneyland. She pulled up her skirt, sat on Pinnochios face & shouted "Lie u bastard, lie, lie!"
Don't be sad, don't be blue. Frankenstein was
ugly too.
I love you in blue, I love you in red. But most
of all, I love you in bed.
Death is the greatest kick of all. That's why
they save it for last!
I'm Popeye the sailorman, i`m a member of the
Klu Klux Clan, when i pull the trigger i kill a fucking nigger, I`m Popeye the sailorman... toet toet!!!
U got style, U got sex-appeal, U got the intelligence,
and you sure got the body... Wait!...Sorry, wrong number!
I'm an alien transformed into your gsm, right
now you're having sex with me trough your fingers, I know you like it 'cause your laughing, go on!
Sex is like NOKIA(connecting people)
Like
NIKE(just do it)
Like PEPSI(ask for more)
Like COCA-COLA (enjoy)
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T V W X Y Z
oopz! i miss 'U'
Thank you for a world of kindness, your endless
patience, your sensitive understanding & your Love.
Words begin with A, B, C... Numbers begin with
1, 2, 3... Music begins with Do, Re, Me... But LOVE begins with... YOU & Me!
A - U R Attractive, B - U R Beautiful, C - U
R Charming , D - U R Delicious , E - U R Exciting , F - U R Funny , G - U R Gorgeous , H - U R Heavenly , Oopps, sorry wrong
number!
If u read,u owe me a HUG.If u delete, u owe
me a KISS.If u reply,u owe me ALL.but if u ignore, u do MISS me.
I miss u wen u r far away, I think about u nite
& day. Even if we cant b 2gether,I will miss u now & forever! Hearts
Because I care so deeply about you, please know
that you are most important to my life.
To the world you may be just somebody, but to
me you are the world. I love you.
Now, Tomorrow, Forever, My love, I will always
love you.
{I} am {Truly} Madly {Deeply} in {Love} with
{You}
Horny:press 1,Oral press 2,standard press 3,anal press
4,nothing of the above press 5,the whole package press my tel number!
U got style..U got sex appeal U got the brains
& U sure got the body Oops, ... WAIT! SORRY, wrong number!!!
My heart was an empty room until you came to
live in it. You fill my life with joy.
No matter where u r & what u do, I want
u to remember I am here... loving U.
Happy Birthday Day to the Best Friend in the
World! To One of the Most Beautiful People I Know, on ur Birthday Day
I know I don't tell u often enough how much
you mean to me, But u r the only 1 I miss
There's a little knot I'd like to tie. it involves
you spending the rest of your life with me. Will you?
My Sweetheart, You light up my life every day.
You hold the key to my heart. Happy Birthday jo!
I love you not because of who you are, but because
of who I am when I am with you.
It takes a minute to have a crush, an hour to like
someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
To love you is to receive a glimpse of heaven.
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite
like your unrequited love.
I appreciate all the things you do, and the way you
show you care.
When God gave you to me, he planted the image of you
deep in my heart.
When you left, my world turned upside down
I love you more than all the tea in China.
I'll love you till the end! And then some.
If love were a movie, you'd be a coming attraction.
If love were to be taxed, I would be the highest tax
payer.
The most important things in my world are to get food,
drink and to love you.
A day without your love is a day without life.
I can't think of anything but you.
I don't know how I could have done that thing, when I love you like life itself. Please forgive me.
You're the best thing since God made men.
You're the best thing since God made women.
You are my friend, my love, my forever Valentine.
The only love worthy of a name is unconditional.
Girls are like phones. We like to be held and talked
too, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected!
You be the Dairy Queen and I'll be your Burger King: if you treat me right I'll do
it your way
Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?
I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.
Grab yer bag Doll...you've just pulled...
I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest lady
on earth tonight.
If beauty were an hour, you'd be a second.
There's just one thing your eyes haven't told me yet....you're
name.
Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the
stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
What time do you have to be back in heaven?
Would you touch me so I can tell my friends I've been
touched by an angel?
You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.
You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated
as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I'm 20.
You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.
You must be a high jumper, because you make my bar
raise!
You're like milk, I just wanna make you part of my
complete breakfast.
Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly
colour coordinated.
I know a great way to burn off the calories in that
cake you just ate.
I wonder what our children will look like.
I'm wearing Revlon colourstay lipstick. Wanna help
me test the claim it won't kiss off?
If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone
as beautiful as you, I'd have five cents.
If you were a car, I'd wax and ride you all over town.
If you were a laser, you'd be set on "stunning".
It must be cold in here - or are you just happy to
see me?
Since sex is a killer, would ya like to die happy?
That's a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?
The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
There's this movie I wanted to see and my mom said
I couldn't go by myself.
Was your Father a mechanic? Then how did you get such
a finely tuned body?
Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence....(a life
sentence!).
Marriage is a 3-ring circus - engagement ring, wedding
ring and Suffering.
A happy marriage is a matter of give and take; the
husband gives and the wife takes.
A woman was telling her friend , "It was I who made
my husband a millionaire."
"And what was he before you married him?" asked the
friend. The woman replied, " A multi-millionaire".
There was this woman who had an artist paint a portrait
of her covered with the most amazingly beautiful and expensive jewels.
Her explanation - "If I die and my husband re-marries,
I want his next wife to go crazy looking for the jewels."
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant
with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage
is the alarm clock.
Men are like chocolate bars.... sweet, smooth, and they usually head right
for your hips.
A little kid asks his Dad, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
"No
idea," replied the Father, "I'm still paying for it..."
Ths msg cn only B read by a SEXY person:
Nothing? Sorry, I guess UR
just not SEXY Hey! Dnt force it ugly, get lost!
Brain Search: Brain detector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still
searching......get a good grip of your gsm....
still searching.......no brains found
Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now...
Sorry I
am leaving now, I can't find a brain
Yesterday night I lay on my bed looking at the stars, then I wondered...
Hey, where on earth IS MY ROOF!
I wanted to send you something that would make you smile...
But
the postman told me to get out of the mailbox
We will now upgrade your brain, please wait....Searching....searching...still
searching....sorry,NO BRAIN found...!
Sex is like programing; One mistake, and YOU WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT IT FOR
THE REST OF YOUR LIFE
After making love, wat r u tryin to say? I love u? Wrong! 1 more time? Wrong.
U r so pretty?Wrong. I'm so tired? Wrong! The answer is tissue...tissue...plsss!!!
I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh..
I laugh. U jump out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again.. hahaha
BOY : May I hold your hand ??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't
heavy
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY
: Sure, what's your phone number??
